I feel sad that I don't post more on here. I'm always looking for some kind of concise thought or how I really feel about things and I can never hold on to it long enough to actually get it into squarespace. There is so much I feel from one week to the next. I don't know how to hit publish anymore. I have so many entries that exist only in my paper journal and not publicly. I hope I start sharing again, I hope I share this.
Read moreFertility Vacation 3.0 // staying strong & finding moments of happiness
What is it like to not give up? Sigh, exhale.
Today it looks like getting up early, instant coffee, meditation, 3 minutes of yoga and writing in this journal and not wanting to know what's in my mind. Today we will walk around Vienna and photograph this vibrant city. We are even taking an airbnb photography tour. It's confusing. Is should be a highlight of the year. I love Vienna. Vienna is a dream of mine. I should feel incredibly blessed and grateful to the travel gods. I am and I'm not. It is wonderful and it isn't. Some moments I can forget and some moments I'm terrified. So for a few minutes I try to drop in, feel it, and hope I can shake it off.
Read moreHard Truths
This time last year we were in Prague attempting IVF for the first time. What an extraordinary year. Nothing could have prepared me for any of this, and I am so grateful. Although I’m crazy proud of how Mike and I sailed the storm, if I could go back now, I wouldn’t have chosen this path. That is such a hard truth to admit to myself.
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