What is it like to not give up? Sigh, exhale.

Today it looks like getting up early, instant coffee, meditation, 3 minutes of yoga and writing in this journal and not wanting to know what's in my mind. Today we will walk around Vienna and photograph this vibrant city. We are even taking an airbnb photography tour. It's confusing. Is should be a highlight of the year. I love Vienna. Vienna is a dream of mine. I should feel incredibly blessed and grateful to the travel gods. I am and I'm not. It is wonderful and it isn't. Some moments I can forget and some moments I'm terrified. So for a few minutes I try to drop in, feel it, and hope I can shake it off.