“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” — Lao Tzu
It's complicated but our lives are still beautiful. IVF didn't turn out the way we dreamed. We are not pregnant. In some ways it's as simple as that. I don't want a big story about it. We tried. It just didn't work. Our hearts didn't change. We still want to be parents. Mike and I have had weeks together in Europe trying to will this dream into existence. We had a week with Jake Washington at home waiting while every pregnancy test was negative.
Fertility Vacation 3.0 // Reflections
Lately, I’m not writing anything at all. In the mornings, I often ask myself what’s going on? How am I? I usually write until I run out of time not thoughts. I’ve had a cold for the last week. Maybe that is why I have nothing to say. Maybe it’s because I’m constantly out shooting. Maybe it’s because I’m meditating so often.
Read moreFertility Vacation 3.0 // Thanking you & staying hopeful
Here we are friends. Thank you. Thank you for your generous donations to our GoFundMe account. Without you we would not be here. Our time for IVF would be over. But instead here we are. I’m following Suzanne around in her red jacket capturing her joy and struggle in this undeniably romantic city. Prague has taken unexpected meaning in our lives and so have all of you. We will learn more in the coming weeks. So far we have passed every test but I guess there is only one that matters.
We will keep you updated and appreciate all of your love and prayers. It means everything to us. Thank you.
Mike, Suzanne and the Wanderers
Read moreFertility Vacation 3.0 // staying strong & finding moments of happiness
What is it like to not give up? Sigh, exhale.
Today it looks like getting up early, instant coffee, meditation, 3 minutes of yoga and writing in this journal and not wanting to know what's in my mind. Today we will walk around Vienna and photograph this vibrant city. We are even taking an airbnb photography tour. It's confusing. Is should be a highlight of the year. I love Vienna. Vienna is a dream of mine. I should feel incredibly blessed and grateful to the travel gods. I am and I'm not. It is wonderful and it isn't. Some moments I can forget and some moments I'm terrified. So for a few minutes I try to drop in, feel it, and hope I can shake it off.
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